Using Your Voice

Recently, two friends of mine that I love dearly asked me to be on their podcasts.
One to talk about journaling through grief.
The other to talk about faith.

Using my voice—my actual voice—on a podcast intimidates me so much.

My safe place is here.
On the page.

My writing starts as scattered, disconnected thoughts that I slowly shape into something that resembles a train of thought. I can sit with it. Edit it. Rethink it. Say it exactly the way I mean to.

But a podcast?

Sure, it can be edited.
And God bless whoever has the job of editing me.

But still…
You’re going to ask me a question and I have to answer it?
Like right now?

No rewriting.
No polishing.
No going back until it sounds the way I want it to sound.

The panic sets in.

I mean, I use words in my daily life. I talk to people. I can express myself verbally.
But it’s not my preferred language.

Anyone who knows me knows—don’t call me.
Text me. I’ll respond all day long.

Because writing feels safe.
My voice feels… a little dangerous sometimes.
Like I’m not fully in control of what comes out.

And yet—
as much as it scares me, I say yes.

Because I need to work that muscle too. Not just this one.

Because if a door opens for me to speak about something I care about in a different way, I want to walk through it.

Because if a friend asks me for help, I want to be someone who says yes—even when I’m afraid.

Because if I say I want to live authentically, then I don’t get to only show up where I feel polished and in control.

So… here it is.
Unfiltered.
Unedited.
My actual voice.

Thank you to my friend, Lauren—
who uses her voice to sit with people in their grief,
who chooses to create something beautiful in memory of her brother,
who radiates love and steady presence,
and who has walked roads most of us hope we never have to walk…
and still turns back to help others find their way through.

🎙️ Here is my first time on a podcast:
[THE ONE WHERE WE REWRITE GRIEF]