Posts
What Happened to Me
We are not born fully formed.
We become ourselves one conversation, one heartbreak, one friendship, one ordinary Tuesday at a time.
Maybe I am shaped by everything that has happened to me.
But who I become because of those things...
That part is still my choice.
When Gifts Become Expectations
Somewhere between receiving a gift and expecting it, we stop seeing it as a gift at all. Whether it's paid time off, friendships, relationships, or everyday kindness, I wonder how much joy we lose simply because we've come to believe we were owed it in the first place.
Porch Lady
A woman yells at me for letting my dog near her lawn, and I spend the rest of my walk deciding exactly who she is. The problem? I don't actually know her. A reflection on assumptions, judgment, grace, and the stories we create about strangers.
Small Talk
I have always hated small talk.
Not because I'm above discussing laundry detergent or the weather, but because I would much rather skip ahead to the real stuff.
The fears.
The hopes.
The things that keep us awake at night.
What I'm beginning to realize, though, is that the deep conversations I love rarely appear out of nowhere. More often, they're built on hundreds of seemingly insignificant moments that slowly teach us we can trust one another.
Maybe small talk isn't the obstacle to connection.
Maybe it's the foundation.
Transformation
I want to become who I am meant to be in this world.
I just don't want the pain of transformation. Or the loneliness. Or the loss.
I want the Cinderella moment. The glitter. The music. The dramatic reveal.
What I keep forgetting is that most transformation doesn't happen on a stage. It happens in the quiet months nobody sees.
Maybe We Weren’t Meant To Do This Alone
Somewhere along the way, adulthood started to feel like one endless checklist of things we are supposed to do perfectly and quietly. Sleep enough. Work hard. Stay healthy. Be productive. Be present. Never burden anyone. And somehow make it all look easy. But maybe the thing exhausting us most is trying to do all of it alone.
Fraud
What I want to be and who I am are often at war with one another.
And neither is false.
The Risk of Being Seen
Recently, something I wrote offended someone unintentionally. My first instinct was to delete everything and disappear. This essay is about misunderstanding, authenticity, authority, wisdom, and why I’m learning that being careful does not have to mean becoming quiet.
Chains of Jealousy
Jealousy makes life feel like a competition. Like there is only so much beauty, success, love, attention, purpose, or belonging to go around. And every time someone else wins, I lose. Except that is not how God operates. The Kingdom was never built on scarcity.
Depression
I’ve always been good at performing okay.
I smiled constantly.
High-pitched voice.
‘Everything’s great!’
Meanwhile, I was drowning quietly.
Which, turns out, is still drowning.
Using Your Voice
My safe place is here. On the page.
Where I can edit and rethink and say things exactly the way I mean to.
But a podcast?
You’re going to ask me a question and I have to answer it… right now?
No rewriting.
No polishing.
My voice feels a little dangerous sometimes.
And yet—as much as it scares me, I say yes.
Repair
“Thank you for giving me a second chance to be your friend and rebuild our bond.”
A what?
For ten years, this beautiful friend of mine thought she was living on a second chance with me…while I had no idea anything had ever been broken.
I’ve always thought repair meant something was broken.
I’m starting to learn…it might be what makes something stronger.
The Things We Avoid (Even When We Love Them Most)
The way I know it’s avoidance is how it sits in my gut.
Risen shoulders.
A pit in my stomach.
And a knowing that I need to go see him…
but I don’t.
Sunday Doesn’t Come Without Friday
Sometimes people come to me for relationship advice.
Me.
A 41-year-old, single, divorced woman who would have stayed if she hadn’t been forced to leave.
And what I’ve learned is this—
advice doesn’t work the way we want it to.
Because what people really want…
is Sunday without Friday.
I Am Who I Am Because the I Am Tells Me Who I Am
A line from a worship song recently stopped me in my tracks: “I am who I am because the I Am tells me who I am.”
It made me wonder—what does God actually say about us? And what are we supposed to do with that information? Is it just meant to make us feel better about ourselves, or is there something much bigger at play?
Authenticity Isn’t What You Think It Is
I once got told, “I like that you’re just yourself and you don’t care what anyone thinks.”
I laughed out loud.
Because I care what everyone thinks.
Every single person.
But maybe authenticity isn’t about not caring.
Maybe it’s about being yourself anyway.
Curiosity vs. Being Right — Part 2
I wrote about choosing curiosity over being right—and then immediately found myself choosing being right. This isn’t about what I said. It’s about the posture of my heart… and what happens when being right matters more than being loving.
Being Right
Sometimes relationships don’t fall apart because of betrayal or cruelty. Sometimes they fall apart because curiosity disappears. When we stop asking questions and start assuming we already know someone, we stop being partners and start being opponents.
Expectation Is the Thief of Gratitude
Trying to make people happy should feel good.
But somewhere along the way, expectation creeps in—and gratitude quietly disappears.
And when that happens, even the best gifts start to feel like burdens.
Private
I am a private person.
Which feels strange to say for someone who publishes deeply personal essays on the internet.
But the truth is, I rarely write about things while they are happening. I write about them after I have wrestled with them long enough to stand inside the story without collapsing.
This is not advice.
This is just my way of making sense of life.